[..thought about giving up..]

As I wake up this morning there's a thing that suddenly hit my mind. I feel like I'm giving up of understanding my life and dealing with people. It's not that I'm going to commit suicide but I need myself a big break to fix everything.

and yes, another mistake I did yesterday. I assure God that I will be attending mass but because my dysmenorrhea strikes and made me so drained and so awful so I decided not to go to mass.

I know this is a very stupid reason knowing I have neglecting God's favor for so many times. Maybe he tested me of feeling painful that day for me how long my faith is for Him, but I gave up staying at home whole day and night.

Damn! before I went to sleep I said "Lord, I am so ashame with myself. I am bad and punish me if you want".

Just this morning I thought of giving up my boyfriend because I see how he sacrifices and understands my stupidity but then again God gave me time to think more about it. As I prepared what to say to my bf I ended up of holding still with our relationship coz I think that the only treasure that I should keep.



so confused.. so bothered.. so stupid.